Juggling Priorities

  Since my last Blog, I've been doing better. I think after 3.5 months I am starting to feel like myself again. I think losing a child is one of the hardest things...ever. Emotionally and physically. During that process, I grew even closer to my two sweet boys and even found a new love.

  I am still in school and it keeps me stressed. I use to be a good student, good grades, good GPA, and always studied. Now, I barely get my class work turned in on time, my GPA is dropping, I never study, and I am turning into a careless student. I never have time! I chase two crazy, grumpy, wild, loud, crazy, temperamental, hungry, fussy, fighting, hitting, clingy, sweet toddlers all day. I have been asking myself the past couple of weeks, HOW am I going to make it through this Summer doing more classes that require studying? I also have asked myself, is it really worth it? I stress myself--I guess I actually let myself do it, but this is the day I usually have: breakfast, lunch, supper, cleaning house, laundry, putting clothes up, washing diapers, potty training that's never ending, break up continuous fights, naps, baths, bedtimes, play dates, play time, errands, straighten house, and then SCHOOL. That is your average stay at home Mom thing which isn't easy, but rewarding. After a day like that, I'm tired. No wait, I am exhausted. I wish I had more hours in a day, help with the boys, and maybe that would bring the Megan Howard student back because the Megan Miller student is struggling to make everyone happy. As you probably roll your eyes at this Blog thinking 'you can do that with no problem' but it's not like that for me--please say a prayer for me because I am at my last straw with school. I miss not stressing over school and just worrying about the boys and the house. Why did I chose another career path? I love school (when I'm not stressed) and I love to learn.

  Bentley and Sawyer are growing up so fast and learning so much! It's amazing what kids pick up from other people-some of it, not so good! Bentley likes to pick up bad behavior from other kids and is starting to test me. Sawyer just started hair pulling 3 days ago when he gets mad. If I am holding him and he's pitching a fit, he grabs a handful of my hair and pulls it. Sawyer got mad at a poor 80 year old relative yesterday because she took the last biscuit that he kept wanting, so he threw a crouton at her and yelled. Where did my sweet little Sawyer go a 4 days ago? I know kids go through stages like this, but it hurts me to see them act that way. They definitely don't see that at home, so maybe it's behaviors every kid goes through? Is this normal? They get disciplined for it, but they look at me like, "Really Mom? That's all you got?" They fight like cats and dogs, their trying to learn how to share, they are the sweetest kids ever when they chose to be, and they are into everything. They are your typical toddler times 2, LOL! Bentley is starting to have an imagination that is quite comical and Sawyer is starting to be Mr. Mischievous. There is never a dull moment in the Miller Household!

  Well, I need to wrap this up! I have to start lunch and put the kiddos down for a nap! Have a good Monday!


-The Random Babbling Mom